Difficult Decisions
by sweeplogs
Summary: Bella left her heart in Forks. She had left her heart in two places, with two boys. The very two boys she couldn't seem to decide between. Now she's coming back after seven years in California. Will she be able to choose between the two? Will she have to?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I'm not making any money off of this story or anything like that. Stephenie Meyer gets all the credit. Except for this storyline. That's mine.**

Bella uncrossed and recrossed her legs, looking around. She scanned every male's face that her eyes fell upon, looking for him. She adjusted, pulling the hemline down on her dress, suddenly uncomfortable. She looked around again, staring at a couple of males who looked familiar, earning her a couple dirty looks from their girlfriends. Of course, as soon as she looked, they looked nothing like him. No one could ever look anything like him.

Bella shook her head. She shouldn't be looking for him: she should be looking for her father. She turned back to the bar, but realized she wasn't alone. _He_ was sitting beside her. Her blood ran cold; icy even as her body froze in shock. He was not what she was expecting to see today or ever again if she could have helped it. Her eyes widened as she stared at him.

"Good evening." His deep voice rang out, soft and husky. His brown eyes raked her body appreciatively before he met her eyes.

"Hi." She replied, almost choking on the words. She didn't deserve to have him checking her out, after what she did to him. After how she treated him. She was so selfish. But Jake didn't seem to hold any hard feelings towards her for leaving.

"I came to pick you up." He said plainly, his broad lips breaking into a smile.

"I thought Charlie was coming to pick me up?" Bella whispered. She couldn't seem to speak from the shock of seeing Jake in the flesh.

"When I heard you were coming home, I volunteered." His grin grew even wider, and they stood up at the same time. Jake chuckled. "Still very much in tune, right?" He gave her a nudge, and she could only look at him, pained. Stop being so nice, stop looking at me like that; like you used to. Stop, just stop. She thought, her eyes scanning his face, taking the familiar lines in.

Bella hadn't counted on seeing Jake when she came home, she hadn't counted on seeing anyone really, anyone except for her Dad. She just hoped that she wouldn't run into Edward while she was here. She gave herself a mental facepalm. If he knew she was coming home, if Alice saw that she was coming home, he would be here. She remembered the promise that she had made to him those years ago.

_Edward looked down at his hands, and back up at her._

"_Bella, are you sure about this?" He asked slowly, as if she were retarded._

"_Edward, I've put so much thought into this it's ridiculous. I _want _to do this." Bella replied, keeping her face strong. If he knew how much this hurt her, there was no way that he would let her go. She would have to remain strong until she was alone, until she was away from here. "I want to see the world, I want to see what it's like before I settle down to anything." _

"_Bella, I can show you the world. I can show you everything in it." Edward almost begged. He grasped her hands in his stone cold ones. _

_ If only he knew, if he knew how she was feeling, the mental war that was going on in her head, he would be ashamed of her. He would deny ever knowing her. She couldn't tell him the real reason, she wouldn't let that slip._

"_Try to find someone else. Try to forget about me." Bella had said._

"_Not ever, I could never forget you." Edward shook his head._

"_Edward, please. Just let me do this." Bella said fiercely, like it was what she really wanted. "I promise that I will come back, and I will see you again when I do. I'll come back to you."She said stupidly, immediately regretting it as soon as it slipped out._

"_Okay." Edward bowed his head, burying his face into his hands. "I love you." _

_ She couldn't reply. She didn't reply. _

Now she was back. She was back in Port Angeles, and soon to be in Forks, the very place that she had run away from to go to California. Why was it here that she decided to go, when she could have gone anywhere in the world? She could have seen Australia, she could have went to Rome. She could have went up north, to Canada. But she came back to this quiet little town, because it was home.

Why was she torturing herself coming back? Seeing Jake had brought up so many emotions, it had almost rendered her catatonic. She was still in shock. She walked beside Jake in silence as he threw her carry-on over his shoulder and grabbed her suitcase, carrying it easily.

"You didn't have to." Bella said quietly, knowing he would hear her. He looked at her, the smile ever-present on his face.

"I wanted to." He replied, his voice low. She knew he wasn't just talking about carrying her bags as her eyes met his. They were sad, but joyous. Hurt, but ecstatic. "I had to, Bella."

When they got to his little Rabbit, he opened the passenger door and let her slide in before he closed it. He loaded her bags into the trunk and slid in the car himself, making the inside look very small compared to his huge frame. Instead of starting the car, he turned to her.

"Bella, you don't know what you coming back means." He said.

"I'm not sure you know what it actually means though." Bella replied.

"I know that I'm determined to make you see what you have been missing all these years." Jake smiled, but his eyes shone with unshed tears. It struck Bella like a hammer, and she felt her face pale. It was selfish of her to leave. But at the time, she had thought it was a good idea, maybe they would both move on so she could stop hurting them, and she could just deal with it on her own. On her own with a directionless relationship with Jarred.

So why did she want to come back? Did she want to see how they were faring? did she want to see if they were as miserable as she, or if they found themselves a suitable mate? Why would she want to see that, to make herself miserable? Did she think that she was going to get some kind of reward for checking in on them. She shouldn't have come back…

Suddenly she was on Jake's lap, straddling him. She wasn't sure if he lifted her or if she had climbed over there, but it didn't matter. Their lips met in a heated embrace, and the world stopped. Everything she had stored away for Jake came rushing back at her as his scalding mouth worked against hers. Love: raw, passionate love for Jake was all she could feel. Lust was there as his hands roamed over her body, feeling around the curve of her hips. She hadn't realized that she still felt this… much for Jake. The tingle down her spine, leading right into the place she wanted him most: the only barrier being his jeans, her heart hammering against his, the woody and naturey smell of his hot, sculpted body, the feeling of no one else existing in the world.

As she pulled away, and looked into his eyes, she realized they were not the dark brown like she was expecting, but a light gold. Upon further examination she discovered his skin was not dark, it was very pale, there were bags under his eyes and his hair was bronze and artfully messy. She was not looking into the eyes of Jake, but into the eyes of Edward.

"Bella, how I've missed you." He said softly, his eyes boring straight into hers.

"I thought you were Jake." She said suddenly, feeling terrible the moment it left her lips. She pursed them as he stared at her still.

"Just me, no one else." He said. "Let's get you home. The family is so excited to see you." He lifted her off him and set her on the leather seat of his Volvo and she had realized the precarious position she had just been on him. He never allowed that. He started the car and pulled out with a terrifying speed, but not before giving her a light kiss on the temple.

Bella awoke with a start, jumping forward before being snapped back by her seatbelt. The man sitting beside her on the plane looked at her curiously as she readjusted herself and looked out the plane window. Only moments later, the pilot came on, advising everyone to put on their seatbelts and that they would be landing in Port Angeles very shortly. Bella tightened hers around her waist, feeling the dread that always came with landing, like maybe the wheels wouldn't come out and they would skid to a firey death. She shuddered and closed her eyes, willing for the plane to land safely.

The plane started descending and Bella winced, keeping her eyes carefully shut.

"Ahem." She heard the man beside her clearing his throat. Bella opened her eyes and looked at him questioningly, momentarily forgetting about her extreme fear of flying.

"Yes?" She asked delicately.

"You're, um… squeezing my hand." He said, nodding his head towards where Bella realized was grasping tightly onto the man's. Her knuckles were white with the effort.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry." Bella retracted her hand immediately. First the twitching and now holding his hand. He must think she was crazy.

"It's alright." He smiled sadly at her. "My daughter had an extreme fear of flying, that just reminded me of her."

"Oh?" Bella asked, sounding stupid. She tried to recover. "Did she get over it?"

"She died a couple years ago. Melanoma."

"I'm sorry." Bella felt a great deal of sadness for the man, almost feeling as though it actually was her own fault.

"Don't be. I guess she was scared of the wrong thing, right?" His voice cracked through the sentence, as though he was trying to make light of the situation, but still hurting so bad. Bella looked down at her hands after smiling at him.

"You may take off your seatbelts now, we are just about there." The pilot said shortly. Bella looked back at the man.

"Thanks." She said. He nodded, knowing what she was talking about.

"By the way," He replied "You were talking in your sleep. I don't know who Edward or Jake is, but it sounds like you need to get that situation figured out." He gave her a small smile before grabbing his bag from the overhead shelf.

Great, now she could add talking in her sleep to the list of reasons this man could think she was crazy. She sighed and waited for the crowd to get thinner before grabbing her own carry-on and walking out.

She didn't get very far before she heard the distinct voice of the Chief.

"Bells! Bella!" He called across the room. Bella tried to find him through the crowd with no luck. She turned in a full circle, but still couldn't find him.

"Hey there." Charlie said from behind her, sounding out of breath. "What trouble it was to get through all these _people_." He sounded exasperated, probably from living in such a small town. Bella hadn't even noticed, but there was a lot of people in the airport today. Living in Los Angeles had it's perks, she supposed, getting used to a lot of people everywhere. When she first moved there, she did a lot of staring, everywhere. People were crowded in every single place, it had taken a bit of getting used to.

"Hey Dad." Bella said, and was immediately engulfed in a crushing hug.

"It's been too long, Bells." Charlie's voice shook with emotion. Emotion that he had probably been hiding for seven years too long. This was exacty why she felt so bad about deserting her father. She was almost all he had.

"I know, Dad." Bella replied, trying to keep herself from crying. Charlie let go, and cleared his throat, looking around.

"Shall we get your bags so we can get out of here?" He asked, looking back at her, his eyes shiny.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Bella smiled at him. They walked towards the luggage pickup, and within ten minutes, had lugged Bella's huge suitcase off the carousel and were walking towards the doors.

Charlie wiped his forehead off with the back of his hand as he exhaled loudly.

"It sure is good to get out of there." He said, looking over at Bella. She nodded, wondering why it had affected him so hard to be with all those people. "There's the car." Charlie pointed to the police cruiser, sitting in all it's glory about fifty metres away. Charlie charged forward with Bella's suitcase in tow, and Bella behind them.

"You still have this thing?" Bella looked down at the cruiser, still the same: it had only gained a couple of rust spots since she had seen it last.

"I get her serviced regularly." Charlie said, patting the car affectionately. He then opened the trunk and heaved Bella's heavy bag in there with a grunt and a couple curse words. She got in the front and waited for him to finally get it in and be able to close the trunk.

"You packed so much." Charlie said, getting in the car. "Did you bring everything you own?" He looked at Bella incredulously. She stared back at him.

"I just packed the stuff I need." She replied, smiling at him. He looked at her with his brows furrowed for a moment, then laughed.

"That is sure a big change from what you used to consider 'everything you needed.'" He grinned at her.

Charlie then started the car and pulled out of the parking lot and onto the highway. With conversation halted, Bella was able to look out the window and think, and what went through her head was the last time she had seen Jake before she had left and how sad he had been.

_"Jake, I have to tell you something." Bella said, keeping her eyes away from his. They sat on a blanket, half-naked, looking out towards the ocean. Jake looked scared, and averted his eyes, picking at a thread on the blanket._

"_I don't know if I want to hear it." Jake said, his voice unusually dismal._

"_I'm leaving. Leaving here." Bella decided to get it out quickly. Jake tried to cut her off, covering her lips with his, and she melted into him, responding instantly. _

_ She then remembered her cause, and tried to stop him, pushing him away._

"_Jake." She cried, trying to get his attention. He finally looked up at her, his eyes shining._

"_No." He said, his voice shaking. _

"_I know, Jake. I just want you to promise me something." Bella looked down at him, but he was averting his gaze again._

"_Anything, I'll give you anything. Just name it." Jake said softly, sitting up and wringing his hands. _

"_Maybe see some other girls, try to find someone else." Bella said. Jake's eyes closed down, and his face pulled into a frown._

"_Not that." Jake said._

"_Please Jake, you said anything. Just do that for me. I don't deserve you." Bella pleaded, and Jake appeared to think it over._

"_You want me to see other girls?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Okay. I promise." He replied, and that was the last thing he said to her as he got up, putting his clothes on and walked away._

As they approached the town limits, memories of high school came hurdling back at her, hitting her like bricks. Edward and Jake. Keeping up appearances with superficial Jessica. Late night talks at Angela's. Constantly dodging Mike's advances because she couldn't deal with a third guy in her life. Finllly giving in and hooking up with him under the bleachers once. Leaving without saying good bye to most people.

The lush green assaulted her, Los Angeles was nothing like this. Forks wasn't exactly home, but her heart warmed at the thought of coming back, even for a visit. She liked being back with Charlie, but she wasn't sure of how she felt about everything else she knew was going to happen now that she was back.

"How does it feel?" Charlie asked, the first words he uttered since they left the airport.

"It's weird." Bella admitted, looking around. "Nothing's changed."

"Nothing ever will change." Charlie said dreamily. "That's what I like about it."

Even being the Chief of Police of such a small town, Charlie never craved action or excitement, like Bella seemed to. He was more than happy staying in Forks all his life living in a quiet town where crime was next to nonexistent. Of course, that was a good aspect of Forks: that it felt so safe.

They pulled up to the old house, which also hadn't changed even a bit. As she walked in, she noticed the same chairs sitting in the kitchen, more cracked, but still standing. A new recliner had made it's home in the living room, but that was about the only new thing about it.

"House looks the same." Bella said, looking around.

"I like to keep it the same. Jake and I replaced the roof just last year, and I've had to fix a few leaky pipes, but she's still working okay." Charlie said, grabbing a beer out of the refrigerator. He popped the tab open and sat down at the kitchen table.

"You've been taking care of yourself though?" Bella sat down opposite him.

"Yeah." He replied, taking a swig. "Been up at the reservation a lot, Sue's been cooking for me. Jake takes care of me, he's out here three or four times a week despite his busy schedule."

"He has?" Bella's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, do you plan on seeing him? I must warn you, he's definitely changed." Charlie looked sad for a moment.

"You've been up at Sue's a lot?" Bella asked, avoiding the question about Jake. "Why the sudden interest?"

"Well, you know.. Harry passed away a couple years ago, and we've become really good friends." Charlie looked away, also uncomfortable with the question. We both stood up, apparently done with the personal questions for the time.

"Do you want me to carry your suitcase up?" Charlie cleared his throat.

"No, that's fine. I'll get it." I said, grabbing it from the corner, where Charlie had set it when he came in. I lugged it upstairs, glad to be away from the awkward conversation.

Bella opened her door and was surprised to see that it also looked exactly the same as it had. There was no dust to be seen, and she could smell that everything had been freshly washed, especially her sheets, the same dark purple duvet looked fluffy and inviting. She felt happy at Charlie's extreme thoughtfulness, going through extreme measures to make sure her room was the same for her homecoming. He really did care about her, which made her feel even worse for leaving. The only thing that made it a little better was the fact that she had come back.


End file.
